Monthly Archives: September 2010

Ew. Stop using the adjective sloppy to describe the drunken state of your friends. Your friend is not a sloppy joe with sloppy joe meat falling out of her purse and her hair. I understand that throw up is sloppy, … Continue reading →

Vomitrocia.

Why do people think is this an edible kind of lettuce? Frisee is coarse, bitter, scratchy on the throat, and requires the mastication techniques of a grazing cow. I’m pretty confused about why people don’t look at frisee more often … Continue reading →

It’s not okay to peel your orange during class or any other time that is not conducive to orange peeling and consumption. Orange consumption is best performed in your room. By yourself. It’s especially unacceptable to bite vigorously into the … Continue reading →

Um, so its not cool to whip out a brush and start brushing your hair all over the place because I’m sitting next to you on the subway and your flyaways are now attacking my face and clinging to my … Continue reading →

“God, would someone please feed her a sandwich?” I never understood this expression: if you care so much, why don’t you plan a meal together and make this person your very own sandwich, with whatever deli meats and add-ins you … Continue reading →

Disgusting. Groom yourself. Usually worn with a reptile t shirt and loose-fitting cargo pants. Stringy Hair that dangles past the butt. 

What are you doing? Instead of attending to who might make a right turn, possibly cutting you off and knocking you to the curb, you’re too busy checking out the aerial view and what people have on their car roofs. … Continue reading →

Okay, so the spirit moves you and you feel the need to belt out an Aretha Franklin number while dumping your dirty duds into the washing machine. Unfortunately, you have a reluctant audience in your presence, so please silence your … Continue reading →